The Travels of Kara Keeton

Andrew’s - Escaping Helhi

Coming at you live, from the frozen northern wastelands of Canada.  It is an exotic land where the cold is real cold, a place where traffic lights exist and, more importantly, are actually obeyed, and finally, a magical place where the plumbing actually works.  It is from this wonderland that I am recounting the final hours of the trip, I wasn’t going to, but I think the experience deserves some special attention.

Now, some of you may already know from sources such as Homer (not of The Simpsons fame), that getting out of hell is not an easy task.  I can now attest that the same could be said of escaping Hellhi…

After sending off my last message, we enjoyed one final, brutally heavy meal.  It was actually heart-breaking, but I could not finish everything that had been set before us.  It seems that extra-dimensional or not, there are limits to how much good stuff can get ingested by this sad soul.  Not long thereafter, it was off to the airport in our final taxi ride of the trip.  Well, wouldn’t you know it, but we were finally involved in a minor traffic mishap
- our driver took exception to how long an autorickshaw in front of us was taking in allowing passengers on board, and actually gave them a bit of a push with his bumper.  I have often held dark desires of doing something of a similar nature back home, so it was nice to see that even the peace-loving Indians can succumb to such thoughts!

Arrived at the airport about forty-five minutes later, and thus began what felt like our own very special odyssey.  First there are the army guards posted outside to make sure undesirable rabble don’t make it inside.  The way to get around this is to have a and printed ticket with you, along with your passport.  In our day and age, this has become something of a archaic tradition, and I’ll be buggered if either one of us actually ever received a printed ticket.  Since we live in a ‘paperless society’, something fully evident in any municipal government office here at home, all we ever had received was an emailed eTicket.

However, by whatever divine providence, we both had some sort of documentation of onwards travel - I had printed my eTicket confirmation, and Kara had an email… both items sufficed to allow us to proceed.
It seems that as long as the piece of paper has your name, and some flight information for that day, it will suffice to let you in.  Had either one of us not had something, it would have required a trip to the nearest Internet cafe capable of printing something.

Allow me to posit this preposterous idea - if I was a farang terrorist, could I not simply whip up a document with that information, and produce it along with my passport to gain entry into the airport, whence I could carry out whatever nefarious deed I may have been up to?  You decide.  Regardless, it appears to be one of those “special security measures” that we’ve been enjoying since 2001, taken to a new level.

Next up, a round against bureaucracy.  Have you ever had to exchange money at the airport?  Was it a complicated procedure that took more than a minute or two of your time?  I suspect that your answers, by and large, would be yes, followed by a no.  Well, in Incredible India, where the fine art of bureaucracy has been embraced so lovingly, that simple process becomes just a little more special.  First you need to fill out a form, approving your verbal request to change monies.  Then there is the photocopying of documents, passport in this case, followed by judicious verification of the pre-mentioned forms.
Then, after a little haggling on the cost of the conversion, and about ten minutes later, you have completed your little transaction.  See, easy as pie!

Eventually the ticket counters open and loose queues begin forming.  Happily, there are enough foreign travelers that, as one middle-aged Sikh gentleman learned, it becomes a little more embarrassing to try and live the queue-challenged existence of the world outside the airport.  While trying to bumble his way into the long lineup, he is taken aback when the fellow he is trying to preempt says “there IS a line”, while emphatically drawing a line in the air.  Beaten, the fellow sullenly retreats to the back of the line. Ahhh, good times!

At the check-in counter the folks manage to mess up in all manner of ways.  First, they somehow forget to arrange adjoining seats on the connecting flight from Dubai to London, I guess one out of two ain’t bad.
Then, they forget to get me a tag for my carry-on...yes, you need one.  It will need to be stamped, and checked a few times by a few people before you can get onto the flight.  Finally, it turns out that in India, you cannot proceed through security if you have batteries in your camera.  Pardon?  Yes, you read that right, we are assured of this.  The batteries will need to be checked in.  Hmmm, that can’t be right, no one else does it.  What happens in cases like mine, where there is no check-in luggage?  A good while later I ponder this on the other side of the security area, while locals are goofing off taking pictures of each other with?  Yes!  Their cameras.  So, it appears that it IS possible after all… Arghhh.

Getting processed through security actually turns out to be one of the easier tasks, with only two separate (and mostly functional) line-ups, one form, two people verifying documentation, and three stamps. Impressive.  This is where the case of the missing carry-on tag was discovered, agonized over, and eventually resolved.

After this it was about trying to maintain composure, breathe slow, and breathe deep.  It was a welcome moment indeed when the flight finally took off from the airport.  I wonder whether things will change by 2010, when the Commonwealth Games are to be hosted by Delhi.  If not, it could be good reading on the trials and tribulations of our athletes! 

Of the remainder of the trip there is little to say…
Dubai was nice, if crazy busy given the time of night. London actually provided us with a sunny, if windy, day while we explored the Tower of London’s bloody history.  Then, as suddenly as it had come upon us, it was time to get back to reality… but the escape from Hellhi had to be told.

Now, get back to work…

Posted on February 11, 2009 at 10:11 AM

---

Comments

Recent Posts

• Andrew’s - Escaping Helhi (February 11, 2009 at 10:11 AM)
• Andrew’s - Incredible India (February 07, 2009 at 2:29 AM)
• Jaisalmer - the city in the sand (February 05, 2009 at 1:43 AM)

---

Recent Photos

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Go to my photography page for more about my photography and additional photos.

---

Keeton Communications was founded on the basic principle of providing communication solutions to Kentucky’s agriculture and rural community. For more info visit Keeton Communications.